This is a follow up from last week’s post, “talking to the image”.
After the image of the lotus had spoken, the blue circles in the image talked. The circles revealed themselves as pain.
Blue Circles
The pain I had in childhood is also physical. All that’s ever happened to me is stored in the
body.
I am emotional pain from childhood
I am the early suffering carried through time
I feel pain, sadness and despair
I need to be left alone, I need to trust
Childhood gets in the way of all of the trauma I experienced in a dysfunctional family
I trust my own experience
What supports me is the alignment of my physical, emotional and mental life
I don’t want to believe, I just want to experience. I believe in direct personal experience
I feel the dark. The space of suffering, sickness and despair where there is no hope
I fear nothingness
I would like to deny that I am afraid of death, the physical death of my body
For the body, everything is in the present. The childhood pain is not in the past – it is happening now – always in the present
The blue circles say to the lotus
The pain is part of the process, it is not an obstruction, it is part of the process
The lotus tells the blue circles
The pain makes my consciousness human, humble, it reminds me of the impermanence of the body
To be continued…